Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Life is about making a choice, whether you like it or not.

Sometimes I wonder. What if at that precise moment some years ago I changed my mind and stay? I'm pretty sure my life would be different. I tell myself time and time again to get over it, you're strong, you've been in this situation many times before, and it's their loss, really. But... Is it really their loss? Isn't it mine? These kind of thoughts are so pathetic, ugh. I know this already, but I just can't seem to get over it. Thinking about 'what ifs' is hazardous to your body and soul, trust me. I've done it about a billion times in 21 years of my existence. I've never really talked about my true feelings to people because, well, how do I tell them? I've never been especially gifted in areas like writing and giving a speech and I can't really convert my thoughts into an exciting or touching story so people will actually listen because it's interesting, not just because they have to. My life is not that exciting. Everything's just so so, unlike some people that I know whose life seems exciting all the time. I know sometimes that wasn't the case, but that's how I see it anyway. Huh. Look at your life and choices, Nazirah. Just be thankful for once, it's not that hard. Stop being this pathetic.

Worst part of this is I miss them. 


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